The 'Talk To Me' Pants

I have a well-loved pair of blue jeans that I've owned for over 25 years. They've seen me through two colleges, traveling down the East Coast and back up again, a flood, a drought, a small fire, and several blizzards. They're ripped and patched, and the patches are ripped and patched as well. Through the various sizes of my body they've been too small, too big and just right. They're multi-hued, soft and, in places, kind of fuzzy. But that's not the best part. The best thing about them is they're a little bit magic.

They're my 'talk to me' pants.

No lie. When I wear them, people -- out of the blue -- talk to me.

And I don't mean they answer my questions; any pants work fine for that. I mean that when I wear my 'talk to me' pants ... strangers and acquaintances alike, engage me in conversation, often in passing, sometimes in earnest.

I'm not doing anything consciously different. I don't start the conversations or ask questions to get the ball rolling. It just happens. In fact, I didn't even notice the 'talk to me' quality at first. A friend was with me and we were laughing about how odd it was that random people seemed to be chatting with me, when a man shouted across the sidewalk, "Nice pants!". And it was my friend who said, "That's it! It's the pants!".

That's how the 'talk to me' pants were born.

Sometimes people talk about the pants themselves. "Hey! You got holes in your pants!" ... "Nice air-conditioned pants you've got there!"

And sometimes people ask questions. "Do you know the time?" ... "Do you have any idea how to get to K Street from here?"

And sometimes people I've seen and exchanged only pleasantries with, engage me in conversation. Like the man with the leg brace, who has the Feldenkreis appointment prior to mine. Though I've seen him twice a month for over a year, he's spoken to me exactly once, on the day I wore the pants.

Clearly, the pants are slightly magical.

But here's the thing ... this year a second pair of well-loved blue jeans ripped in one knee, and ... now I have TWO pairs of 'talk to me' pants! I consider myself a fairly reasonable person. And I had no problem believing in one pair of magical pants. But two?! There's must be more going on here!

I'm starting to think it's not so much about the pants themselves, but the way that I feel when I wear them. I don't feel intentionally approachable ... or endeavor to have a 'talk to me' air about me -- no more than in any other clothes.

As far as I can tell, it isn't very complicated or intentional at all. I simply love these pants. I love the way they feel ... I love they way they fit me, very loosely ... and let me move freely while wearing them. I love the way they are slightly unacceptable, like something my father would have frowned upon me wearing to church.

In these pants, I am entirely myself. As if the act of putting them on is a statement to the world that regardless of your particular level of disrepair or history of dysfunction or even if you're just plain worn out, the mere fact that you exist gives you innate rights, knowledge, and value. And these qualities are in you and of you and therefore cannot be taken away. My ripped blue jeans manifesto!

Wouldn't it be great if all pants inspired such confidence? Well, I'm not there yet -- but I'm getting closer.

In the meantime, if I could just find a matching pair of 'talk to me' shoes ...

© 2003. All rights reserved. Beth M. Lyons, www.kitchentablecoaching.com

About the author: In addition to wringing ezine essays out of the tiniest of notions, Beth Lyons is the creator of the Million Dollar Life™ Coaching program, and co-founder of Kitchen Table Coaching™: where remarkable women gather to dream out loud. Kitchen Table Coaching offers mastermind coaching groups, individual, customized coaching programs, Barbara Sher Success Teams, Teleclass Workshops, Webinars, and the occasional live workshop. For more information go to www.KitchenTableCoaching.com.

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